Consistently inconsistent...
Pssst... you're allowed to change your mind.
A few months ago, I told my Mindful Little Email subscribers I would be switching to a new format.
Instead of sending out a daily mindfulness prompt Monday through Friday, I moved to three times per week — Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Barely a week into the new schedule and… I hated it. I missed having small, daily reminders to wake up to.
I asked myself, am I allowed to change my mind about this so quickly? I’d literally just made a heartfelt announcement about it.
Having a brain like mine, you get used to bouncing around from brilliant new idea to brilliant new idea, or from one shiny new interest to the next. It’s something I’ve always been a little self-conscious about.
Because real business owners make strategic decisions and follow through.
Real adults don’t “flake out” on their commitments or jerk people around.
At least, that’s what I’ve been taught in this neurotypically-dominant world that is absolutely obsessed with consistency.
Consistency is often attributed to success — in sports, business, marketing, friendship…
But I believe a commitment to consistency alone can also hinder the connection I have to my creativity and intuition.
I did ultimately allow myself to change my mind and switch back to the original MLE cadence. Instead of worrying about how disorganized or inconsistent I would appear to my community, I decided to trust my gut and just be honest — I thought it was what I wanted at the time, but I decided it’s not going to work. And people communicated to me how much they appreciated the transparency.
If you’re consistently inconsistent like me, here are some questions you can ask yourself next time you feel bad or embarrassed about “being inconsistent” or changing your mind:
Is changing my mind really that big of a deal? In the case of my example above, no. It’s a free newsletter… are people going to complain about getting more content for free!? Unless you’re a heart surgeon playing hooky on surgery day, you’re probably not hurting anyone. (Tbh, I don’t know how being a heart surgeon works.)
Have my needs changed? If I cancel plans with friends, sometimes I like to say, “The person who agreed to this event — that was a different me.” It’s totally valid to change your mind in the name of self-care and compassion. When our needs are met, we show up more authentically — and people appreciate that.
Am I only being ‘consistent’ out of fear? My fear of being judged by my audience was the only thing keeping me from immediately changing my mind, and I decided that wasn’t a good enough reason to ignore my gut instinct.
There are mannnnny things in life that require consistency: paying taxes and rent and credit card bills (and scheduled heart surgeries, I hope). Next time you’re feeling insecure about changing your mind, consider what’s keeping you stuck and try to give yourself some grace.
You are allowed to change your mind.
Peace, love and workflows,
Andrea
Cover photo by No Revisions on Unsplash
You are putting words to all my inner fears and feelings! How you say it it helps me give myself the ok to let myself off the hook. You are a gift ❤️
"But I believe a commitment to consistency alone can also hinder the connection I have to my creativity and intuition."
YES, YES, YES!!! This is exactly how I feel too. I've been so consistent before out of a sense of obligation (whose obligation, I'll never know) that it drained the joy out of it, and I end up resenting everything and everyone until I burned it all down.
I'm creating a video podcast -- even though my AuDHD brain is mortified by the idea of actually talking out loud and being on camera 🙀-- but I'm giving myself permission to play and experiment to see if it feels good (after the initial terror passes and my autonomic nervous system balances) and letting my community see that it can be fun to try new things and nothing has to stick forever.